T: what are you doing? Stop that! (While he says this he starts pushing his pillow toward me.)

M: I’m not doing anything. Everyone is safe. Go back to sleep.

T: no you were pointing at me. Stop pointing! (Tries pushing me away again)

M: (keeping my distance at this point) Tyler. Nothing is wrong go back to sleep.

T: (jerks away from me) don’t do that!

M: what?

T: you were gonna touch my butt!

M: I definitely was not.

Cue me laughing and Tyler rolling over and going back to sleep.

T: what? Are they ok?… Where are they all coming from? Are you keeping track of them? Are they ok? Are they getting into trouble?

M: everything is fine

T: but they’re coming in. How are they doing it? Are they crawling through the window? Why are they wriggling like that? What? What? What? You need to keep track of them.

M: stiffling giggles

T: stop. You’re being mean. I’m trying to sleep.

M: I love you

T: no. Stop it. You’re wrong.

M: nope I love you. It’s not gonna change.

T: but. But. But…. Leave me alone. I’m sleeping.

“No no no. Everybody who doesn’t belong here get out of my house now. Just get out. Now. Now. Now.”

Umm. Ummm. Yeah. It’s gonna be the backwards way to get it out of me. Or I need to get out backwards, I guess I should say….

(Silence for about 10 seconds)

*Whispers* I love you.

T: Hey Hon?

M: Yeah?

T: I didn’t get a chance to fix any of the things yesterday. That’s why none of them are working now. I’ll get to it. Just not now.

T: I’ll tell you what. I was talking to the recruiter. You know, for the Navy? She offered me $13 as a signing bonus. And the sponge… There’s that too. Soooo……. seems pretty lucrative if you ask me.

T: Nooooo…. We just… we can’t.

M: what?

T: We just… We just… We just can’t. With as many guns as we have lying around here. We just can’t have them jumping all around. We have to keep them safe. And I mean, we don’t have that much ammo… But if they found anything, and anything happened, I would just be… be… be sick… You know?

M: Yeah honey. I know. We’ll keep them safe. Ok?

T: ok. Sorry. I probably didn’t need to bring this up now. I just really like them. Yeah?

M: yeah. Don’t worry. Everything is safe and locked up. No one can get to it. You don’t need to worry about it.

T: ok. I’ll go back to sleep now.

T: NO! STOP IT!! NO! NO! NO!

M: What is it? Everything’s ok.

T: OK?

M: Yeah. Everything is fine.

*Tyler rolls over and looks like he’ll go right back to sleep. Suddenly he rolls back toward me*

T: You should just leave now. I’m serious. Just get out!

M: Why do I need to leave? I’m not gonna go. I’m staying right here.

T: Just-just-just go, alright? Everytime that door opens the snakes fall down. If you go now, you might miss it. Just go. NOW! GO! GO! GO!

M: Yeah… I’m still not going anywhere.

T: *in a song-song voice* Alriiiight… It’s your fault when they get you….

T: Come on guys. Let’s be nice… Gentlemen… Just…

(He then taps me on the shoulder)

T: Come on honey. Let’s get up.

M: What?

T: Let’s go. What time is it?

M: It’s not even 11:30 yet.

T: Really? I thought I heard an alarm or something.

11:58pm

(In a bored voice)

T: “No. No. No. Stop now. No. Not like that. Now put it back. I’m not kidding kid.”