T: Wait. Do people actually do that?
Me: Do what?
T: Live in seismically active areas.
M: Yes. They really do that.
T: Ooh-Kaaay… (said in a sing-song tone of voice which clearly states “Well I guess they can choose to do that, but I’m pretty sure they’re idiots.” So out of character, but hilarious.)

Last night’s adventures in sleeping next to Tyler:

*3am, I wake up because he’s grabbing my leg*
M: what’s the matter?
T: where’s the baby? I can’t find him.
M: he’s not in here. He’s asleep in his own room.
T: (all disappointed) oh. That’s too bad. I was just SO excited to talk to him. I LOVE talking to him. You know?

And with that he rolled over, went to sleep and didn’t remember anything about it this morning.

T: *in a full voice* I really don’t want to do this right now. Can we all just go home please?
*He sits up in bed and announces to the room*
Guys pack it up, go home and go to bed now.

M:*I put my hand on his shoulder* Go back to sleep, Honey.

T: Okay. It’s time to go home and go to bed now

M: Yes it is dear. You should do that.

Never a dull moment.

Last night was one of my favorite middle of the night conversations.
The scene: 3:45 am, I am returning to be after getting The Major (6 months) back to sleep.

Tyler: NO! You stop right there!
Me: I’m just getting back in bed Tyler.
Tyler: You can’t keep doing this, Megan.
Me: I can’t keep doing what?
Tyler: you keep going around and biting people every 15 minutes. You can’t do that!
Me: Biting people?
Tyler: yeah! You just… you… and the biting…
(this is the part where he starts to wake up and trail off, and I try really hard not to laugh)
Me: what are you talking about?
Tyler: *mumbles* followed by: you never understand me in my sleep…

T: *sits straight up in bed* WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!? *He then proceeds to hock a giant loogie across the room.*

Apparently he dreamed he was kissed by a floating angel of death who was trying to poison him. He found the loogie the next day. It had landed on some shopping bags I had brought home the night before and hadn’t put away yet.

I woke up with Tyler tucking the blanket under my shoulder.

M: What’s up?

T: I just made you super comfortable.

He then rolled over and remembered nothing about it the next day.

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we believe that sexual relations are a sacred things, only to be enjoyed in marriage. While dating and during our engagement, Tyler and I were always very careful not to cross lines we had set for ourselves. We were never alone in a house or apartment without a chaperone (even if the chaperone was my 9 year old niece. Love you, E!). And we definitely never went into a bedroom together before we were married… though we did fall asleep talking on the phone most nights.

We’d been married a little over a month at this point.

T: WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?!?!?? You’re not supposed to be here!!

M: Tyler. We’re married here. I’m supposed to be here.

T: Really?

M: Really.

T: SWEET!

#sleeptalkadventures

I feel like I should preface this with the fact that Tyler had been snoring for 20 minutes immediately before this conversation.

T: Do I have to play or can we just have a meaningful conversation?
M: What?
T: Do I have to play or can we just have a meaningful conversation?
M: I don’t…
T: You’re just sitting there playing your game. I can’t get more than 2 words out of you.
M: I didn’t say anything.
T: I know! Would you just talk to me please? I’m so sick of games!
M: You were asleep, that’s why I wasn’t talking.
T: Sure… Well, still… I don’t want to play, ok?

I was awake reading, the house was silent, until I let out a little toot. Tyler sits straight up and grabs my arm.

T: “Call 911! Call 911 right now. I’m not even joking!!”
M: “Everything is fine, Tyler”
T: “No it’s not. I heard something. You need to call 911 right now”

I did not call emergency services.